i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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