so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
