i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Enjoy the penises
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
