I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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