dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
