I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
