we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
