When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
