i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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