In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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