but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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