What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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