Already got asked if we're dating
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
