I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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