There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
