I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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