end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
