i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize