You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
