we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
