i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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