You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
