Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
