I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do herpes really smell.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
