..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
