Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
