You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm both gender and math confused
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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