the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm both gender and math confused
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
