So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
