I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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