You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
