I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
NoShamevember. You game?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
