I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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