It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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