my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize