best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
