you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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