so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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