it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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