is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
