Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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