I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
