dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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