Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
