I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
