She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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