I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
