Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Panties = found
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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