So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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