i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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