I wanna bring you to show and tell
and she was petting her beer can
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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