this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
