i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
