Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
