come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
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Be still, my beating vagina.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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