no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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