Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize