I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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