I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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