well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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