Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
