The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize