I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
